Space and Matter
by NotAllHeroesWearCapes X
Summary: Bella needs a break - from Edward, from nosy werewolves, from everyone. A vacation to Florida ends in disaster, and Bella is left wondering if Edward will accept her back again. AU/ ExB  -Ignores Breaking Dawn-
1. Chapter 1

_Dear Isabella,_

_Edward has told me to_

This wasn't working.

The third paper ball gone thrown towards the bin. Towards, but not _in. _My aim was as good as my throw. Appalling. Sighing and deciding that the blackened skies permitted me to throw down my sword and admit defeat, I dragged myself from the wheelie chair and flopped down on my bed heavily.

Edward was hunting. Clever man that he was told me that I had to have _space _if I was going to do this. _This _being his idea anyway. His stupid idea that he had told me would make things so much easier. The defeat made me feel crumby, so I curled up on my bed, toed off my shoes and let sleep take me.

"Stop glaring at me."

He didn't relent.

"Stop glaring at me, _please." _

With a loud sigh, I sat upright on the bed and glared back at him. His glare didn't shift at all, in fact all my actions did was cause his eyebrow to twitch. A sure sign that he was fighting a smile. I didn't want him to smile. He knew this after all, which was why he was at least making an effort with this.

"You are completely hopeless." I sighed in exasperation. Truthfully, I was irritated. And annoyed. And a little tired. But mostly just irritated.

Finally he let his laughter loose as he joined me on the bed, laying on his side next to me and resting his head in his hand as he smiled down at me. "It's not my fault I can't say no to you." he chuckled as he pressed a soft kiss to my pouting lips. I liked seeing this side of Edward. Now that Victoria was gone, and the Volturi situation was on its sure way to being remedied, he was more... cheerful. There was still brooding, but he laughed and smiled more now.

"Yes it is." I protested stubbornly with a sigh as I crossed my arms across my chest even though I was laid down. "Doesn't it bother you _at all _that we've never had an argument?"

He pondered my question for me moment, probably and finally seeing how serious I was about this. He retracted his fingers, which had previously been sliding through my hair, and sighed as his brow pinched together. Oops. Happy Edward was gone again.

"I don't see why you're so obsessed with it. I think it's good that we don't argue." his voice had a soft quality to it, and I could easily identify his _persuasive _tone by now. Damn him. Well, this time it was not working. Edward thought I was stubborn. Well, he hadn't seen anything yet.

"I am not obsessed with it. Arguing is normal." I persisted, letting the annoyance show in my voice.

Edward rolled onto his back next to me and sighed deeply. I wasn't dropping this – we both knew it.

"But we're not normal Bella. We never have been."

I hated when he said that. It was like just because I was with him, I wasn't human anymore. Like just because he acted different, that he wasn't just like me on the inside, or the outside really. I hated the lines he drew between us all the time. I found a pillow and smacked him in the face with it. It was better than my hand.

"Shut up talking like that. You're like me, but a little modified. You act like you're some sort of alien."

"I'm not like you Bella. The sooner you realise this the better." He grumbled.

"Don't patronise me Edward. Regardless of what you seem to think, I am not a child." I released the pillow and climbed off the bed.

"Then stop acting like a child. I'm a vampire, not some cuddly toy. You can't tame me!"

He was stood at the other side of the bed too fast for my eyes to follow. His eyes glowed an onyx, making his pale skin seem somewhat luminescent.

"I'm not trying to to tame you! But you're drawing so many lines between us, all the time, that I don't even know what to think!"

My voice was getting progressively louder as we faced off against one another on either side of the bed. I paused for a moment and tried to gauge if Edward was simply humouring me again or whether he was honestly pissed. When I saw his hand clench into fists, I settled for the pissed option.

"I don't draw lines between us." His words were more of a hiss, a buzz.

"Yes you do!" I cried. "All the time! My nickname is 'the human', you go out of your way to accommodate me for everything, and you're obsessed with the two of us being different!"

"Why wouldn't I accommodate you?" The fight seemed to drain from his voice as his brow pinched together. He was loosing the energy to carry this on, just like usual. He would back down and request that he do this another time.

"You want me to fit in with your family? To feel comfortable here? With you?"

He nodded, looking somewhat fearful as I stalked up to him in anger. _How could he not realise this by now._

"The first time I came here, you told me that this was the one and only place you could be yourselves. Correct?"

When he nodded I continued in the same ranting way. "But you don't. When I'm here, you change – everyone does. Do you think it makes me feel better when you act human? Or when you slow down or point out my human qualities?" I saw the fear and revelled in it. _Finally. _"I feel like a fucking inconvenience because you dance around me."

I stepped back, feeling the words forming on my tongue and knowing the pain they would inflict. But they had to be said. He had to know.

"Most of the time I don't think I even know you. You act so human all the time around me – you _act _all the time around me." I shook my head as I seethed. "How do I even know you when you hide so much from me?"

I didn't look back as I exited the room, but I knew he wouldn't follow. Not after the words I had spoken. I hadn't looked at him while I spoke. I couldn't. Edward didn't like to fight. He usually let me win and then backed off as I calmed down. And then the whole thing would be swept under the carpet.

I don't know what I expected to find when I went downstairs. I contemplated going home, but I wasn't _that _mad. I didn't want Edward to have a full blown panic attack. I had forgotten that Edward and I were the only ones in the house though. since Victoria was gone there was no need to have strict hunting schedules. Plus Alice had said that this was another _present _for the two of us. I didn't see the point. Edward wasn't budging on the whole sex thing.

I hoped Emmett wouldn't mind if I hooked up his Xbox. There was no way I was going to go and talk to Edward right now. We both needed some time and space to cool down anyway. Killing a load of avatar men who were trying to kill me seemed like the best way to work out any issues. The summer spent with the Pack helped my gaming skills improve significantly.

I wasn't sure how long I sat playing the same game, but I was having fun with it, surprisingly. It reminded me of when I spent all those weeks in La Push, letting the fun and easy relationships of the Pack slowly heal my broken spirit and heart.

"What'cha doing down there?"

It was a tribute to my dedication to the game that I didn't even jump when Emmett's voice sounded from somewhere above me. In some victory and excited move, I had moved from the sofa to the floor in an attempt to get closer to the television.

"Playing." I gritted my teeth as I gunned down another blue guy before he got one of my men.

"Not bad." Emmett hummed in ascent before I saw his hulking mass sit down next to me. On the floor. And here I was thinking that such basic necessities were beyond such refined vampires such as the Cullen's.

"There's one hiding behind-" he began.

"Shut up." I didn't usually growl when I spoke, but there was still a lingering anger towards Edward in my head. Those little blue men didn't stand a chance against my wrath. Emmett was quiet for a long moment and the sound of me shooting the hell out of a group of enemy troops filled the room.

"Relationship troubles?"

Was I really going to get into this with _Emmett?_

"You could say that."

I guess I was.

"What's he done this time?" Emmett chuckled, seeming to be quite content to sit beside me as I massacre imaginary men on his game.

"That's the point." I paused as I passed the fourteenth level and my scores came up on the screen. "Whenever one of us is angry, he refuses to acknowledge it. It's infuriating." I killed the first man I saw and sighed in irritation as I realised he was one of my own troops. "And that's not even talking about the stuff we get angry about."

I wondered if Edward was home and listening to this. I quickly found that I didn't care. I was sick of his attitude, and how he would suddenly shut down and treat me like some little child.

"You're his mate. It's kinda his duty to make sure you're happy and safe." Emmett defended his brother and I sighed again.

"You and Rose fight all the time. Just little arguments. That's all I'm asking for – just some way to air all the shit floating around in my head." I forcefully shot blindly at a moving target, and when I glanced at Emmett I found him smirking down at me. "Yeah, I'm not as passive as I seem. Shocker."

"And sarcasm too." Emmett threw an arm around my shoulders and laughed, annoying me even more because he was enjoying my sour mood. "I think I'm gunno like having you around forever."

I remained silent.

"So how long as this been building?"

I felt resignation well inside of me but I pushed it away. It was easier to have this conversation if I was angry. "Since you all got back." I knew he would understand what I meant.

He whistled quietly, realising that that had been almost a year ago now. "Wow. You can hold a lot of shit inside." He sounded appraising but I snorted. It wasn't a good thing. "What changed then?"

"I could do what I wanted when you left. I had no psychic watching my future for my death, I had no vampires stalking my steps to make sure I don't fall. I was... normal. And then I got in with Jake, and they were just so normal, but just with a few advantages, you know? I felt like I just fit in there. There were no lines drawn, no distinctions made. We were all just... the same." I sensed Emmett's hesitation at the mention on Jake and the Pack, so I continued.

"When I moved from Jacksonville, I was used to being in charge and being the one making all the decisions. When I moved here, and met you guys, I went from carer to baby. In some ways, I hated it and still do. I used to be independent. Hell, I used to be a feminist!" I cried in disbelief. "But it's kinda hard to hold onto that stuff around you guys. I went from being a provider to being this weak, slow human who everyone had to pander to-" I began to pound the buttons of the control pad, my eyes fixed on the point on the television. "-and God forbid I do _something _that one of you deems wrong."

"We're just trying to look out for you." Emmett squeezed my shoulders gently, but I refused to allow the guilt inside.

"I know. But I'm a human, as you are all pretty intent on reminding me every time I see you." I spat. "And I can't live like you and you're set regulated rules. I _need _to do stuff; stupid, reckless and random stuff that makes no sense at all." I continued. "And then I don't need to come back and be reprimanded like a _fucking toddler _just because I did something you don't approve of."

"Don't you think you should be telling this to Edward?"

_Landmine! Landmine! Step back! Take cover!_

"_Why do you think I'm here? He's God knows where hiding because he doesn't want to fucking disturb this stupid happiness he thinks we have going on! I can't talk to him because all he does is dismiss my words! He doesn't fucking listen to a word I say!"_

"Okay, okay, okay..." Emmett's mantra rang in my head as I ranted and raved, my eyes not seeing the television and my hands numb to the plastic in my hand. Quickly, Emmett reached over to my controller and pressed the pause button before taking it from my hand and setting it down on the floor. I heard a quite 'Jesus Christ' slip from him as he shuffled closer and hugged me to him.

It was too much. The anger drained out of me as defeat hit. I could feel the tears coming, right on time. Apparently Emmett did too. "Please Bella. Please don't cry. Fuck... I can handle angry, but not the tears. Please don't cry."

His pleas only made my tears come faster and I buried my face in my hands as my shoulders shook. When did I turn into such a pathetic wimp? What happened to the girl who couldn't give a damn what anyone thought of her? Where was the girl who didn't need a man, or anyone in fact, to make her whole? A man doesn't make you, and no man would make _me, _me.

"God..." I choked out, realising with disgust what I had been reduced to. Sat on the floor, while my _other half _was God knows where, crying because we couldn't even have a fight. Because he was a complete ass. Because I loved him so much that when I was with him, I didn't care. But now I do, now that I had a taste for freedom, it seemed to slap me in the face at every turn. Because now, every word, every embrace was smothering me.

"This is ridiculous." I wiped my eyes despite the fact that even more tears were falling. I sniffed and hugged Emmett briefly before standing shakily. I had been sat on the floor for about three hours, if the clock on the mantle was correct, and my ass was numb and painful.

"You okay?" Emmett set his hands on my shoulders and peered down at me with concern shining in his eyes. I knew he loved me, just as I loved him. But his loyalties lay with his brother. They were family after all, _vampires _born from the same sire. Brothers. I was merely an accessory to said brother. A _human._

I nodded stiffly, taking a stuttering breath and glancing at the stairs. "He's gone. He wasn't here when Rosie and I got home."

_Great, so Rosalie heard all that. I guess that just burned every bridge I had managed to build with her. _But my heart didn't bleed at the loss. I needed to grow a backbone. I was done being the weakling in the house of powerful creatures. I didn't care how slow I was.

Again, I nodded and stepped out from Emmett's grip. His arms fell to his sides as sadness crossed his face. "I have to leave." I croaked, raking a hand through my hair but ripping it away when I realised I had picked up the habit from Edward.

To my surprise, Emmett nodded solemnly. "Alice saw that you would. She didn't know exactly, but she said it had to happen." His eyes watched me closely for any signs of hesitation. I made sure he found none.

_Why was Alice so happy when she left us together then?_

"Tell Edward..." I walked passed Emmett and headed for the door, fetching my keys from the depths of my jacket pocket. I paused at the door, realising that I still hadn't finished my sentence. I turned and smiled sadly as Emmett had turned to watch me leave. "Tell him to leave me alone for a while. If I want to talk, I'll phone him."

"Do you really expect him to wait?"

I sighed and shook my head before turning back and opening the door. "He won't have a choice."

–

Charlie wasn't happy. But then you wouldn't have guessed it from the large smile adorning his face as he drove me to the airport. His face had paled and then turned a shocking puce upon hearing that I was going to Jacksonville to visit Renee. There were no buts about it. I was going, and he knew he couldn't stop me, but that didn't stop him from trying.

That was, until he found out my reasoning behind my little trip. He had tried to contain his glee when I told him that Edward and I were on a break and spending some time apart. Of course, upon hearing that I had been the one to initiate the break he had let his grin loose and it hadn't dimmed in the slightest since.

"You'll be back for college, right?" Charlie hugged me tightly as my flight got called.

I scoffed, looking up at my dad with a smirk. "I won't be gone that long. I just need to clear my head." I assured him, dodging the bullet rather nicely if I do say so myself. I had conveniently forgotten to have mentioned my college of choice to my dad. I hadn't even affirmed that I was attending. I guess it was just assumed nowadays.

As soon as I boarded that plane, I plugged my headphones in and skipped past all the recent additions. My old playlist had been sorely neglected over the past year and a half, as had my old friends and sensibilities. _Like never getting married at eighteen! _

I hadn't taken the engagement ring off of my finger. This was just a break after all, not a _break up. _

I just hoped that Edward knew that.


	2. Chapter 2

"Go."

I had been kicked out of the house. I hadn't even unpacked yet. Renee had been called by Charlie when he had got back home. She was shocked to see me arrive in the airport but she hugged me as tight as ever and claimed that she was 'so happy to have her baby back'. Thankfully Phil greeted me with a simply but swift embrace before grabbing my bags and leading the way to the car.

Renee and I caught up on the drive home, chatting animatedly in the back seat. It was all a lie. I wanted to stare out the window and take in every difference I could spot. I didn't want to talk – I wanted to _think. _But this was my mother, whom I did love quite a lot. And so I smiled and joined in the chatter when it was necessary to do so.

By the time we got home, Renee knew most of what was happening between Edward and I. Hell, she probably knew more than he did. When I told her this, she turned to me with a fire in her eyes I had never seen before.

"Don't you dare call or text him."

She had sniffed out my weakness. My hand was already gripping my phone in my jeans pocket. Upon seeing my guilty expression, my mother allowed her features to soften before declaring that she would have a 'talk' with me later on.

After walking into the house, finding that everything was exactly the same as it had been six months ago when Edward and I had visited, Renee turned to me. And demanded my phone. At first I was outraged, but then I could see her logic. My mother was a psychotic feminist, which was her main problem when she was trying out a relationship. Thankfully, Phil wasn't too sexist for her tastes. I handed over my phone with a sigh, expecting an early night and to unpack tomorrow.

But somehow I had gotten turfed out. And now I was wandering around, attempting to recall where my friends used to hang out and live. I was ashamed to draw a blank in both cases. The sun beat down on me uncomfortably. It reminded me of the summer James chased me down here and I ran to the Ballet studio.

My first instinct was to turn around and walk in the opposite direction, but I pressed on. Turning my back hadn't me any good up till now, and I was done being a coward. I had to face up to things one way or another. In a way, running away to Jacksonville was cowardly, but it was that or... I don't even know what would have happened if I had stayed in Forks. Exploded?

It was difficult being here and remembering home. Forks was my home now. Florida had once plagued my dreams, my heart had called for my mother and my body had begged for the heat and UV rays. Now I wanted moisture and darkened clouds. Putting both versions of myself together was proving to be impossible. Being here was as if Forks had never happened. Looking around the brightly lit suburban streets, where children laughed and played, and teenagers travelled around in packs, I could never imagine a single person from my life in Forks here.

Not Charlie, not Jake, not Edward. None of the Pack would like it – there was nowhere to phase. Charlie would abhor the heat as he always had. And no Cullen would enjoy being cooped up inside all the time. Being here was like leaving all that behind and beginning afresh.

I felt liberated and a traitor all at the same time.

I didn't know what Renee expected me to do since I hadn't been here for almost two years. I didn't know anyone, and those who I did would have probably gone off to college somewhere. Leaving me behind like I left them behind.

I wasn't a very good friend. When I thought about Jake, I realised that I still wasn't.

It wasn't the most cheery thought.

The sun made me unzip my jacket and tie it around my waist. I wasn't used to the heat anymore and hadn't dressed for anything above sixty degrees. My mind wandered for a few blocks, my fingers idly tapping in my pocket where my purse was sat. With my bank card inside.

_Fuck it._

I was being stupid, but damn it felt good. I blew all my months of wages in the space of three hours. That was all my college fund – almost one thousand pounds. As much as I hated to admit it, I could easily see how Alice could do this every weekend. It was almost... therapeutic? I did feel guilty that after the dozens of times Alice has tried to get me into shopping, I hated it.

_Maybe it was because she wasn't here..._

I shook my head against that thought, refusing to acknowledge it as a possibility. Surrounded by bags of clothes, shoes and other sun-worthy items, I ordered myself a frozen strawberry milkshake and sat down at one of the metallic circular tables. I was at the _mall. _Alice would be proud. There weren't many people here since the sun was out. The beach was where people tended to go on such days, not places with glass walls and ceilings. It tended to get a little warm in here.

Suffocation hit me swiftly when I hugged my milkshake to me, realising how familiar the cold sensation was. And how much I missed it. I had kept thoughts of Edward or the Cullen's away from my mind up till now. It's not that I was leaving them behind. I just needed some _space. _I needed to get my head screwed on straight before even thinking about going back into that war zone.

A shadow crept up my torso and I found myself able to see without squinting in the glare of the sun streaming through the ceiling. In front of me stood three people, looking to be around my age. They didn't look too threatening, though I noted that they didn't look exactly welcoming either. My first instinct was to duck and run and escape the possible conflict. Pride and defiance held me in my seat.

_I hide too much. If I can stand up to sadistic vampires, humans should be a piece of cake. No more Bella-doormat. _

I levelled the stare the short girl at the front was throwing my way. Her arms were crossed over her chest almost petulantly, her eyes narrowed and dark. She was the typical Floridian, donning denim shorts, a strappy shirt and flip flops. The girl behind her was similarly dressed, and the boy who looked a little nervous looked more like he should be on a beach with his surfer shorts and bare chest. Most people walked around in bikinis and swimming trunks.

"You're at our table."

The girl at the front spoke up and my back straightened automatically. I wasn't looking for any sort of fight, but this could be the first step to actually growing a back bone.

"There are dozens of other tables." I dismissed, my eyes not leaving the girls face. Her expression only shifted a little when her lips twitched. Inside, I was rolling my eyes. I had been a part of these games way too many times now. The lets-see-how-tough-you-are game where they test you and look for your reaction.

The boy behind them winked at me and then stepped around the two girls. Without any sense of grace or awkwardness, he pulled out the chair opposite mine and dropped himself into it, smirking at his friends.

"She's cool." He told them with a grin, looking over at me and appraising me. Oh God.

"We haven't seen you around here before. New to the area?"

No introductions, no excuses, no apologies. I think I would like these guys. Though I was far from my comfort zone, I ran with it. The remaining two girls took the remaining two seats on my left, their eyes on me.

"Returning actually." I told the, nursing my warming milkshake as a way to keep my hands busy.

"From where?"

The girl asked again, loosing the narrow-eyed stare as she rested her elbows on the tabletop and leaned towards me. She looked so scrutinizing that I fought to keep my eyes from dodging away again.

"A small town in Washington DC." I shrugged. There was a small pause, and I took the advantage to slurp my milkshake through the stripy straw I had chosen from the counter.

"I told you it was her! I told you!"

I was shocked to hear the girl so excited, even more so when I realised that she was referring to me. The boy rolled his eyes but nodded at his friend, and the other girl simply watched me even closer.

"I'm Jo." The girl stuck out her hand, eyes alight and smile wide. Though it was fairly formal for teenagers, I shook her hand and laughed along with her when she realised how odd the greeting was. "Sorry about the whole hazing thing." She released my hand and then waved it dismissively in the air. "I had my suspicions but I couldn't be too sure."

"Jo you're freaking the girl out. I bet she doesn't even know who you are." The boy chortled, still slouched in his metal chair, looking the picture of laziness and ease. Jo stared at me hard for a moment and realised that his words were true.

"Hannah French was my cousin. I came here for the summer and you came around to the house."

I cast my mind back, smiling at the thought of my old best friend. I don't know what happened to Hannah and I, but we drifted apart quite suddenly and without me even realising it. I filtered through all the summers, and vaguely recalled her mumbling something about an annoying cousin invading her room with High School Musical shit. It had made me laugh at the time, and when I had spoken to her cousin she seemed too shy to even speak loud enough for me to hear.

"I remember you," I nod at Jo and her smile returns. "But you spoke so quietly that I couldn't understand a word you said." The boy sniggered and I smiled back at him while Jo shrugged. Jo short for Joanne if memory serves right.

"You were the big girls okay? You were freaking intimidating with your books and big words." I was glad she wasn't offended by my words, rather she seemed quite happy that I remembered any detail about our brief encounter. "You'll be nineteen now, right?"

"In a few months." I nodded, shuddering as thoughts of my previous birthday filtered through my mind. I hope Alice didn't do anything to try and make up that birthday without something equally extravagant.

Someone's order was called and the other girl stood silently to retrieve it. When she was gone, the boy leaned forward and extended his arm, mocking Jo and I. Laughing, I shook his hand too as he introduced himself as Alex.

"Alexander the fourth to be precise." Jo snorted as we released each others hands. Alex scowled at his friend but didn't reply. The other girl returned, setting the glasses on the table and then returning the tray to its holder. Jo and Alex argued over the glasses even though, from what I could tell, they were all the same. After a brief stare-down Jo released her grip on the glass and Alex smirked in victory. My small laugh reminded them of my presence.

"So what're doing back here?" Alex asked, wrapping his lips around his own straw and slurping some strangely coloured concoction I couldn't name.

"Visiting my mom, I guess." I shrugged and slurped from my own glass and lowering my eyes to the table.

"Avoiding eye contact, dismissive voice and ending in an interrogative. Obviously, you're hiding something." Alex continued and I looked up at him, shocked that he figured that much out from one sentence.

"Ignore him – he's studying psychology." Jo rolled her eyes. "But he does have a point. Why else are you here?"

"You guys are pretty relentless for people that I don't even know." I admitted, trying to sway them from the subject. I sighed in defeat when Alex stage-whispered 'not-so subtly trying to shift the topic from her'.

"Fine. I'm here to get away from... someone. Okay?" I scowled and stabbed my straw at my liquidising milkshake.

"Someone of the male variety I'm guessing." Jo eyed me and I nodded. I expected some sort of very female squealing, but instead her mouth twisted with understanding and she dropped her gaze to her own milkshake.

"Now, not to be even more nosy." Alex rested his forearms on the table, his milkshake between them as his hands seemed to gravitate towards my own. I pulled them back a little automatically but he didn't reach out to touch them. "But it that ring just for decoration, especially on that particular finger?"

There was a split second of silence before Jo turned her wide eyed and awed stare, first to my ringed finger, and then to my face. I quickly pulled my arms from the table and sat them in my lap as I felt my cheeks heating up.

_I don't even know these people._

And yet I _wanted _to talk to them, to tell them everything. They weren't biased between vampires and werewolves. They weren't watching me closely for signs of stress or panic. They were just looking and waiting for my words and actions. And God, it was wonderful.

"You're engaged?" Jo whispered, but there was no point. She may as well have shouted, her voice travelled that far. I was far too used to this reaction by now. The stares I received every time I went out were now becoming familiar to me. "But you're only eighteen!"

A small smile pulled up my lips and I tilted my head a little, my hands still in my lap. "I know, but I love him." I shrugged easily. "He's all I'll ever want."

Jo 'aww'ed and I laughed quietly. "Can I see the ring?"

When she held my hand in hers, the girl behind her seemed to take interest. All of their eyes widened when they saw the small diamonds. "Fuck me." The girl behind Jo whispered, her gaze shifting to me while the other two stared at my ring in wonder.

"Is he rich or something?"

I smiled wryly and sighed. "Or something."

We stared at one another for a long moment before she spoke. "I'm Kate." there was no accompanying smile, but for some reason I found I preferred it without. "Bella." I nodded and smiled a little before diverting my attention back to where Jo was still pawing at my ring.

An hour later saw me still sat there, laughing raucously with all three and not caring at how we were disrupting other shoppers. Once Kate loosened up she was hilarious, and didn't mind taking shit from anyone. I found that she could throw it right back even harder. We got shooed away by the Milkshake stall manager when we were making too much noise and irritating his customers. I found that I couldn't really care less.

"You coming out tonight Bells?"

Jo had also picked up on the nickname. I didn't mind.

I turned to look at her with a frown, unsure of what she was talking about. I got the impression that 'going out' did not mean sitting on the wall on the board walk. We were making our way through the hoards of people, all carrying my shopping since when I had picked all the bags up, all three of them had fell about laughing. Apparently it was extremely amusing to watch a girl attempting to carry bags that amassed to bigger than she was. Thankfully, they had come to my aid and had we all carried some.

"Erm... define 'going out'"

"You scared?" Alex nudged me playfully and I rolled my eyes away and back to Jo.

"There's this club open on Friday's that we can get into. It costs a bomb, but it's worth it. You wanna join?" Jo raised an eyebrow, and I had to yank her out of the way of three speed skaters before they collided with her.

"Hang on a minute..." I eyed all three of them. "How old are you guys?"

Upon finding out that they were all seventeen, I backed off a little. When I asked how they planned to get into a club, Alex was all too eager to let me know that his brother worked the doors and would let us in for free. _Under-age drinking. Not exactly what I envisioned when I came out here for a break._

"I don't know. I spent most of my day on a plane. I think I'll just get an early night."

They put up a fight, but I dug my heels in. After dropping my bags off, I wished them a good night and then collapsed on the sofa, spent from the day. Renee bounded downstairs after a minute or so and I got the sneaky feeling that she had been listening to us talking. She was all too eager to listen to me talk about my day and seemed pretty proud.

"But I spent all my college money!"

I don't know why I had told her that, but she wasn't listening either way. Maybe I was a masochist and thought I deserved some punishment after having such a good day. Guilt crept up my neck when I realised that I had fun without Edward. _My life doesn't revolve around Edward. _

"Pssh..." Renee waved her hand in a stark familiar way to Jo. "Phil is doing pretty well now that he's been signed. I was going to suggest that we pay for your tuition anyway."

There was a stunned silence. "What is it with you guys? First Charlie, then Edward, then Edward's parents, and now you!"

I failed to see logic in Renee's but dropped the subject. I felt bad for accepting her money, especially knowing that I could have done it myself had it not been for my foolish decisions. But it was nice. Nice to be cared for by my mother instead of caring for her.

I went to bed early and awoke to the sun heating my skin through the glass of my window. There was no Charlie to cook for. And Renee was loving this housewife role she had right now. She was enthusiastic about every aspect of it – cleaning, cooking, even baking. She wanted to make Phil happy, though she didn't have to do any housewife stuff to achieve that.

But there was no vampire knocking on my door, or crawling through my window, or even summoning me to their house or telling me to be ready by a certain time. This was me, by myself, with no pressures to do much of anything. I got out of bed at half eleven and spent the day inside, reading. Renee teased that it was as though I had never left, and I swallowed the lump in my throat every time.

_There was no way I could ever act like Forks had never happened._

Renee did give me my phone back, after telling me that distance would be good for mine and Edward's relationship if I let it be. As soon as she was out of the room, I keyed in his number but hovered over the dial button. I deleted the digits and read the texts instead.

3 from Alice.  
>1 from Emmett.<p>

7 from Sam.

I was just glad Charlie didn't have a phone, or I would be inundated with calls and texts all day every day. I quickly read through them all and smiled. Alice's were encouraging, telling me that I was doing the right thing and to think about myself. She told me not to come back until I was sure I was ready. As though a huge pressure had been lifted from my shoulder, I quietly thanked her. My phone vibrated with her reply: _You're welcome._

I was a little shocked by Emmett's communication. Even though we had each others numbers, we had never used them before. Just like I had Esme's, Jasper's and Rosalie's. I had never found a situation that I needed to use them. I didn't quite know what to expect from his text, but I found him just as amusing in text form as in person. He had written a large essay, telling me how he had kicked Edward's ass and would do so again if I wanted him to (and even if I didn't). He described how Edward was being moody, but to not worry about it. They were 'dealing' with him. I didn't even want to know what that meant. I had never been on the end of the Cullen's 'tough love' ways, but I doubt Edward would appreciate them.

The seven from Sam held little interest to me. All were vaguely similar to the last, and I found myself getting annoyed at his incessant babying and distrust. There was no mention of 'I hope you're okay' or ' don't worry'. It was all 'we' – meaning that his words had come from the Pack and not himself. In his last text, which had come in at five o'clock in the morning, he did ask if I was okay. However, later on in the same text he explained how he meant 'okay' to mean 'human'.

I didn't respond to any of them, and slid my phone back in my pocket. Alice's quick reply let me know that she was keeping an eye on me, and I was glad I hadn't hurt her feelings when I left. If Alice knew then Emmett would know and wouldn't expect a reply. I doubt Sam knew such things, but there was no way I was going there with him anyway. It was as though I hadn't spent months getting to know them, loving them as friends and brothers.

I forced my attention back on my book and successfully ignored reality for most of the day. In the evening, I had to go to my room since the heat was too much and I had a fan in there. Phil saw me lounging on my bed, upside down with the fan blasting out as powerfully as it could. I didn't see him until he popped his head around the door from and smiled at me.

"It's good to have you back Bella."

Phil and I had never been close. I had been too young for him to be completely sure about, and too old to form a strong bond with. I'd say we were more friends than father/daughter. The slim age gap didn't really enthuse me all too much either. But he was a good man, and he was good to Renee and I.

"It's good to be back."


End file.
